Here we go, down the road, uh-huh
Eighty hillbillies in Tennessee went drivin' on highway 23.
They took a turn and they headed west, why they did that, anyone's guess
There were 87 of 'em when they started out, but 5 of 'em died and 2 fell out
One named Buck, his wife was half dead
Should-a left her at home, but he brought her instead
They were heading west on County Rd 8,
When they spotted a house that looked just great
Four stories tall and 50 yards wide, the hillbillies decided to look inside
They parked in front and got out of their cars
Took in some moonshine in Mason jars
Got their guitars and fiddles too, started playin billy, billy, billy bayou
They were a-laughin' and a-dancin' and actin' very silly
But what can one expect from 80 hillbillies?
They had a big party and did what they wanted
And never suspected that the house was haunted
80 hillbillies in a haunted house, 80 hillbillies in a haunted house
80 hillbillies in a haunted house, 80 hillbillies in a haunted house
81, if you count Buck's spouse, 81 hillbillies in a haunted house
They were dancin' and a-cussin' and a-drinkin' beer
The hillbillies started to disappear
First it was Luke and Lula and Mac
Then there were more, it was hard to keep track
Dickie Wayne Price, he screamed real hard,
"There's 5 dead hillbillies out in the yard!"
They searched the house and they found 2 more
Goober and Peanut, down on the floor
They found Ebby's head stuck on top of a broom
Found the rest of her in the very next room
Many strange things happened that night, they kept finding bodies left and right
69 hillbillies in a haunted house, 69 hillbillies in a haunted house
69 hillbillies in a haunted house, 69 hillbillies in a haunted house
70, if you count Buck's spouse, 70 hillbillies in a haunted house
Two were attacked by the walkin' dead, 3 got a hatchet right through the head
Six were eaten by giant rats, 1 was killed by vampire bats
Six hillbillies got stabbed with swords, 1 got hit by flyin' boards
Three were 'lectrocuted by an electric wire, and 2 hillbillies caught on fire
45 hillbillies in a haunted house, 45 hillbillies in a haunted house
45 hillbillies in a haunted house, 45 hillbillies in a haunted house
46, if you count Buck's spouse, 46 hillbillies in a haunted house
Downstairs hillbillies danced all night, Upstairs they were droppin' left and right
Drinkin' their moonshine, a hundred proof, 2 hillbillies fell off the roof
Three got strangled by the crawlin' eye, 2 hillbillies just started to fly
Three were eaten by a giant moth, 4 hillbillies got their heads chopped off
Two hillbillies had a heart attack, 1 hillbilly got stabbed in the back
Three hillbillies had screamin' fits, and 4 hillbillies got shred to bits
21 hillbillies in a haunted house, 21 hillbillies in a haunted house
21 hillbillies in a haunted house, 21 hillbillies in a haunted house
22, if you count Buck's spouse, 22 hillbillies in a haunted house
5 hillbillies just split in two, 8 got chased by sticky black goo,
7 hillbillies watched "I Married Joan," but during the commercial, they turned to stone
That only left Buck and his half-dead wife, and Buck got stabbed by a flyin' knife
She sat and watched him as he bled, she's the only one left and she's half dead
1 hillbilly in a haunted house, 1 hillbilly in a haunted house
1 hillbilly in a haunted house, I said, 1 hillbilly in a haunted house
She's so tired, she's gone back to bed, she's the only one left and she's half dead
Suddenly, Buck came back to life, he sat straight up and he told his wife,
"I don't care if you're half dead, come with me, back to bed,
If we're gonna increase our population, we better get started with some copulation"
Two hillbillies in a haunted house, 4 hillbillies in a haunted house
Eight hillbillies in a haunted house, 22 hillbillies in a haunted house Make that 50 thanks to Buck's spouse, 50 hillbillies in a haunted house